I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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