No awkward lesbian experiences without me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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