This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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