I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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