Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
