party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
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boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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