she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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