why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
