If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
