you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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