She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
