note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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