Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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