the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
