i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
