Rock
Scissors
Fuck
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
