i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
