when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
