Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
