I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Come on in and take your pants off
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