what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
