Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
its not stalking. its research.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just found puke in my bra..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
