i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
