she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
