A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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