i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
