So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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