I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That's intense
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
