dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
