I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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