i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
