seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
