I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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