it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
