i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
