Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my being single is dangerous.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
