Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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