For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
