he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
