Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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