I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
