"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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