never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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