I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize