so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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