just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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