why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
