Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
