i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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