roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
