i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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