I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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