i barfeds in our rink
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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