They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Mom said you looked used
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
