I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
