So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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