belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
