Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it was like eating out sand paper
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
