God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
