i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
