I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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