so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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