So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
