Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
