I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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