If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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