Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize