May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
